Yes these are the memories of my Pattaya Thai girl. Her name was Ifucka Round.
She was always so nice to me.
She said she wants to have sex on the backseat of a car, but she wants me to drive it.
She said she is a world traveler. Then she told me what a trip cost and I told her that we live in two different worlds.
She was a wild girl, how wild?
When she ate a banana it got bigger, that wild.
She took me once to a wild party with her friends. I played a new version of Russian roulette. I was passed around the 6 girls and one of them had a VD.
But she was a nice girl. She told me she is half Thai, half English, but once in a while there is some Russian and Swedish in her too.
She was well known around the Pattaya. All the cabdrivers knew her. I dunno why. I asked cabbie once, his name was Jabba San, if I am not mistaken. I asked him where can I get some action when my girl was away. He took me to my house.
I asked the local barman to surprise me after I had a fight with my girl. He showed my the picture of my girlfriend naked.
But she was always honest. I loved her for that. I was always mad, I told her you never told me when you have an orgasm. She told me you are never around.
She was also a well known movie star. In my friends bachelor party, she was in the movie.
But oh boy her wild days, those were something. She told me she wants a wild sex. She tied me to the bed then she went out.
But I remember her sweet voice, particularly she always was screaming I am coming, when I was holding the elevator.
But oh boy there were some bad things. She did not know how to cook. We always prayed after we ate. I bought her pressure cooker and I was eating from the ceiling.She made me chocolate mousse and the antler got stuck in my throat.
I once come home to my house and I saw a naked man jogging outside. I asked him why, he told me because you come home early.
But I loved my Thai Pattaya girlfriend. Apparently her buffalos always got sick for some reason. I paid her so much money so when she took me to her momma house to see buffalos, the buffalos had the TV, beds, cocktail glasses and were listening to loud music and drinking Thai whiskey and eating pad thai. They even drove around in a Toyota pickup.
But soon she did not gave me sex anymore. So the only time I had sex was when my doc told me to cough.
But I know, I know. I don't have a large package. When my ex first had sex with me, she broke the birth control pill in two.
Me and her had a rule to smoke only after sex. I had the same pack for 2 years. And she was up to three packs a day.
My Thai girlfriend. She told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.
I knew she was cheating on me, everytime I came home the parrot was screaming "quick, quick, get out through the window"
Love you long time my Pattaya girl. If you need any more money for sick buffalo, let me know...