My New Girlfriend

Jack's picture
Mon, 30/05/2016 - 12:28 -- Jack

So I met this sweet nice girlfriend. I want to marry her. Most of the times she is so nice. But sometimes she behaves strange. 

Well I do not know what to do. I am kind of suspicious at her behaviour. Please help me clear things up. 

Last week I bought a used car....I found my girlfriend's dress at the back seat.....

She is the worse cook in the world. In my house we pray after we eat.

She cant cook at all. In my backyard the flies chipped in to fix the screen door. 

I have no sex life either. In my house we put the mirror over the dogs bed....

The other night she told me she wants to try something wild. She tied me to the bed, Then she put her clothes on and went out.

I get no respect. That is the story of my life. 

But it must be my fault. As a kid I get no girls too. One girl told me come over there is nobody  home. I came over there was nobody home...

My girlfriend flunked the driving's test. She could not get used to the front seat. 

And she is fat too. How fat? She is so fat her bathtub has stretch marks....

Her belly button has an echo...

ANd she is ugly too. How ugly? I took her to a dog show, she won....

They use her in prison to cure sex offenders....

I dont know but sometimes I think she is not faithful to me. 

I went to a doc and told him that I think she has a VD, he gave himself a shot of penicillin.

Tell me guys what to do, is she the right girl for me??????


right girl for me


Submitted by Mark (not verified) on
if this is true i would recommend you to ditch your life in the USA and just go somewhere else; anything else is better than this shit if at least you have not committed suicide before reading this comment. but please go and improve your sanity in the rest of the world

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